They are stood outside of the pub, all of them with their backpacks on holding their pints. I have never seen a scene like this before, people standing outside in front of the pub with their pubs, not even any seating just standing. The second their work ended they probably all scampered out into the streets instinctively walking to the closest pub. I wonder where they live and how much rent they pay. I wonder if they are in klarna debt like me. I wonder if they look at me and think that I am desirable.

I sat outside the a cafe-nero vaguely close to the Tate modern and downloaded grindr for some platonic fun, but also to see if hot people would still desire me. I gave up on this quest on Wednesday when the cute t-boy I was talking to ignored my messages. Yesterday I was sat outside a blank-street watching the business men walk by and imagining their blank profiles. What apps would they even use? Are they into short feminine transgendered men like me. I quickly call my boyfriend and ask him if he himself would partake on a business man. The conversation gets pivoted when a large group of men walk by and I stare at them for too long. I hang up and go back to staring.

What I love about London is the concentration of hot men, and visibly gay men. Maybe the fujoshi in me remains. But I guess I am a man of sorts so maybe that doesn’t apply to me anymore.

A few years back I was crazy into train-sex porn. Every-single aspect of this excited me. The problem with this porn is that it is primarily Japanese, I guess they have the niche for this. I’d like to imagine myself on the tube during rush hour surrounded by business men. Sometimes I think I’m asexual but I think Glasgow is just too punishing to let me feel as much desire as I possible can. I am writing this on Thursday, my last full day in London. I wonder if I’ll see any business men today or if I’m too far away from the real London for it to warrent their existence here.

Would any of the business men on the street take me? My friend I’m staying with and roaming London with keeps asking me if I think I could take men in a fight. Yesterday he asked me if I would take a guy – from the front or the back. Would I ever top is the real question. I actually have to some degree but that was when I was somehow straight in my previous relationship. Could I top a business man? I think I would like to beat one with a tree branch, and absolve myself of my klarna debt through this. If I hooked up with a London business man I would steal his foldable bike and cycle back to Feltham from wherever his house is.

Planes + vore r coming next week I hope you’re excited :+) Also I’m experimenting with formats and contents for these newsletters if you have any feed-back please let me know!